Situation Report

Negatives:
1) First visitors in months are a simpleton Surveillance Officer and two idiot Poilecmen.
2) My former girlfriend left six months ago.
3) She was seeing somebody else before she did.
4) There is cat poo in my garden.
5) I have no shoes to wear other than flip-flops.

Positives:
1) My new neighbour is nice.
2) I’ve been invited to a party (but I have no shoes to wear).

Overall:
A bit shit.